Internet Business and Personal Success

It’s been a while since I posted. Not that I’ve run out of ideas… More that I’ve been distracted…

No, not by the earthquakes that have been rattling Reno lately (and another one just this moment in fact), but by two things… My many projects outside of this “internet thing”, and my HABITS. More than anything, it’s the habits that are probably slowing me down the most. We all have them. They exist whether we recognize them or not, and they all play a major part in our success or failure (aka “results”).

The hardest part is recognizing the habits that are affecting our current situation.

As an exercise, I’ve decided to do whatever I can to recognize the habits that affect my own life, no matter how small or large, good or bad. For those I see as “bad” habits, I will make an effort to change them… Noting my reactions, resistance, and success.

There will be many! If you follow along, you’ll soon understand.

Here’s a really easy one I’ve recently focussed on. I say “easy” in that it was easy to identify and observe, but not necessarily easy to do something about…

Ready… Here it is… “bad drivers”

Ask my wife. I don’t really like to be around those who don’t fit my idea of “good drivers”. I’ll cuss, moan, whine about how they should never have been allowed a license to drive. How they are causing problems for everyone else. That the cell phone stuck to their ear while the merge onto a freeway at 35MPH is going to cause a wreck (it will and does).

So, my habit is that I get all worked up over what someone else is doing.

I don’t know which is more boneheaded, the person driving with a cellphone in one hand, and doing makeup with the other… or me, wasting time and energy carrying on about them. But still, it’s something I’ve let become a habit. I see a “bad” driver, and I can barely control myself. Instinct takes over and I let ‘em have it (not that they care) — <insert explicative here>.

The experiment begins. I’ve started to try different things to change my habit. Not that it’s such an important issue to change, but rather that it’s something I can clearly see, and observe. It’s also something that is frequent enough every time I get into my car, that feedback is almost immediate.

What I’ve found it that I still cuss and moan about the other drivers. But I do it slightly less frequently, and each time I do, I’m reminded of this experiment. Success. I’ve observed the habit!

Once observed, I run through a list of things in my head about what this behavior means to me, and why I’m doing it. Truthfully,the reason is probably more about me being “right” than anything else. I’d love to say it’s because the roads would be safer, or we’d all make it to where we want to go quicker, but that would be a lie. I simply despise their ineptitude as much as I despise my own. I want everyone to be competent 24-7.

When I go through the list of reasons “why” I act the way I do, they come up short.

• I probably won’t make it to where I’m going more than a few seconds earlier.
• The rest of us observant drivers will likely deal with the speed and erratic driving of the others.
• No amount of me cussing, horn blowing, or otherwise getting working up over them will ever change the way they drive. Sad, but true. They will NEVER change because of my actions. Never, ever.
• To feel righteous, or better than them. I may feel this way, but my stress level raises 1000 fold in the process. Not exactly productive!

Cutting to the chase… The ONLY ONE I have power over is MYSELF. It really doesn’t matter what they do. It only matter what I feel and do. Nothing can change this, so why would I make any choice but to do something supportive and constructive?

Because of Habit! And not a good habit.

Today, I made a solid observation of every time I got upset about something another driver did. I then went through my list of reasons, and observed. I did not change. But the fact that I observed what I was doing, and realized the real reasons for it is a huge step in the right direction. In the coming days, and weeks I will keep reminding myself of what I’m doing, and why the only thing that matter is my own results.

I know that in time I will become more focused on my own reactions, progress and success, than I am with others perceived problems and “stupidity”.

The challenge is to find the import habits that are holding us back and then doing something about them if they are holding us back in some way. Some common biggies are:

• Perfectionism — probably my biggest hang up (though there are runners up)
• Fear of success
• Fear of failure
• Shyness/fear of putting ourselves out there
• Too much tv
• Too much web surfing (”research”)
• …insert your own discoveries here…

If you really want to succeed, you’ll need to observe your habits and make as many changes as are necessary to achieve your goal. It may not be easy, so I suggest you follow my lead, and “discover” something that is easy to observe at first. The tools you learn from truly thinking about these obvious habits can be applied just as readily to the more important ones. You just (usually) have to know why you’re doing what you’re doing first. Then you can progress.

That’s how it works for me anyway.

So… Can you identify a self-defeating habits. Preferably one that can be observed frequently. An easy one, or hard one. If you can identify and observe it frequently, choose that one. Then each time it comes up, think about what your response to it means to you. Think about why your choose to do that. Make a note of what you could change about your action, and how that could effect your feelings, results or behavior.

Remember that can only change yourself, not others. They must choose to change themselves, and you must choose to change yourself. You’re a FOOL if you are trying to change other people. Conversely, you are among the most brilliant if you choose to change yourself instead.

Which side would you rather be on?!

Please let everyone know if anything strikes a chord while reading this post. I hope it encourages some ideas big and small.

-Tim

PS. My wife is probably wondering how I’m going to pull this one off. Part 2 will reveal part of the secret. Stay tuned (and please bug me if my habits don’t produce fast enough

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There’s a saying in my house… the refrigerator is where food goes to die.

It’s true too. If we eat out, invariably the leftovers go to the fridge. Then a week later we notice the “dead” food and toss is out.  The same holds true if we make a bit too much to eat at home. I’m not sure what our aversion to left-overs is, but I have a feeling the reason behind it is a big problem a lot of us face.

You probably think I’m crazy for bringing up dead food. But I noticed a very similar pattern in many other areas.

For instance, as startup internet business owners, we may go out and buy, read and listen to things just because they’re new. We listen once, then move on to the next “big thing”. Never mind that the information we got a year or two ago is still viable, and could help us move closer to our goals. Furthermore, it could be all we really need to truly turn the corner of online success.

Instead we seek something new, easier, quicker and more “perfect” than the last thing, and we don’t move forward because we’re always in study mode. We put the information on the shelf to die.

Contrast this to any of the current and great copywriters, you’ll see that they not only study the teachings of yesteryear, they still follow the same basic structure that was laid out many years ago. They take what still works, add their own flare, test and tweak it, and then repeat.

Sure, in the case of food, it rots and becomes inedible, so the analogy isn’t ideal… But the same kind of food fresh the next week is still yummy and nourishing. The same basic ingredients are there and it’s as tasty/useful as it was the week prior.

Same for most of the information we collect. In fact is you go back far enough you may find that what’s old is new again. Look at fashion, cars, music… It all comes back and becomes the latest thing. Maybe you can find some hidden gold in the knowledge you already have.

So, what’s on your shelf that you could put to use today?

Do you find yourself caught in a self defeating cycle? If you step back and think about what I’ve said, does anything look different to you now?

In…

• your business?
• your relationships?
• your desires?
• your hobbies?
• your music - ok, I’m listening to one of my favorite bands who have a new album out after 16+ years… Was (not Was), and the album Boo! Music is a great example of this concept…

If not, that’s fine. I’m simply passing on something I became aware of, that’s helped me move forward in projects that otherwise might have had me blogged down in the “need for new”. You’ll see (specifically) what I mean shortly, but in the meantime I suggest raiding the refrigerator for new ideas!
Oh,… and please let me know what you find!

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I’m fairly certain that you are actually smarter than you act. Sadly, you may be acting stupid, and I’m often in the same boat as you. Without proper focus, you’re doing things. This is not to say that you are stupid, I’d be willing to bet that you aren’t. You’re just doing some stupid things. Just like me.

Why so harsh? There’s an enlightening article in The Atlantic, which basically says that multitasking makes you stupid and slow, and who isn’t multitasking these days?

• The tv’s on in the background while we “work” on a project
• We’re on the phone while driving
• We’re checking email 10 times an hour while writing an article, or performing some vital business task
• The number of web browser windows that are open an awaiting our attention is well in the the double digits
• Chewing gum while walking seems like child’s play–better add a cell phone and a jump rope

It’s a long article, but worth reading if only to scare you straight. I really love the part where a researcher gives hope for multitaskers. He says that people can actually learn to do 2 tasks “at once” as well as someone who does them sequentially. Ah… Hope! Of course, his studies indicate that it takes 2000 times before this is exhibited. So much for the good news.

Computers multi task, and it often slows them down to a crawl. Much of the time, they are responsive. This is usually because they’re doing relatively little in the background. But take your basic machine, and do something like search for all files on the main hard drive that contain the text “internet marketing”. Let it go and find those files. Then start using the machine for something else. Web Browsing. Write an article. Run your virus checker… You’ll likely notice a huge difference in responsiveness of the machine. It’ll take you longer to do what you want to do, and it’ll also take the machine longer to find the files.

This happens for a reason other than the cpu speed. It happens because there’s another bottleneck in the system, the hard drive. Not matter how fast the computer chip can process things, it still needs to access data on the hard drive to accomplish its tasks. The hard drive is extremely slow compared to the cpu, so the cpu ends up waiting around a lot for it to return data.

While I don’t know what the bottleneck in you is, I’m sure at least one exists, and if you are attempting to concentrate one more than one thing at a time, you will slow down, and become stupid. At least temporarily. The easy remedy?

1. Do one thing at a time, and do it well.
2. Focus only on that one thing.
3. Get it done. Finish it.
   
4. Move on the the next thing.

No bottleneck… Just results.How will this work for you?

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Believe it or not, most of the menus I see are full of “worms”. Truth be told, I actually like it that way.

Let me explain…

No, I don’t actually like the worms. And that’s the point! But, the more “worms” there are on the menu, the fewer choices I have among the remaining dishes (the “chocolate”). It makes the choice easy.

Still confused? I assure you that understanding why having a menu full of “worms” is a good thing and well worth your time.

For some reason I grew up disliking a lot of food that other people really like (ok, love). For example, I will gag if I even attempt to eat cheese, or any one of a large group of “condiments” (what I call “goop”). To me, eating them might be similar to you eating live worms. You just wouldn’t do it, and I don’t blame you.

So, when I go to an Italian restaurant, for example, I can immediately eliminate about 80% of what I see without thinking about it. All the “worms” (dishes with cheese…) allow me to narrow the choice down to the 20% that remains (and even that often requires a substitution or two). On top of that, my expectations are often lowered a bit because I only had a few items to choose from, and they may not have been my favorite dishes. This means that I’m often happier overall with the meal.

Having “worms” on the menu makes life much easier. We people like things to be easy.

Contrast this to times when I go to a Sea Food or Chinese restaurant. Everything on the menu is more like “chocolate”. I want it all, and it takes me a long time to decide. To make it worse, my wife doesn’t like sea food, so if I find myself at one of these places, I often want it ALL, because who knows when I’ll have such a selection again.

Having too much “chocolate” on the menu slows things down, and makes life tougher. People don’t like things to be difficult.

Too much choice often leads to worry about whether the right one was made. Would I have been better off with one of many other items on the menu? This can often lead to disappointment, and added stress.

What does this have to do with business success?

Everything!

It’s just another example of Information Overload.

Every new online business tactic that comes out and promises thousands of dollars nearly overnight may look like “chocolate”, and instead of picking just one, you want them all. Your focus disappears into a sea of “research” (a.k.a. web surfing), purchases, and distractions. You jump from method to method, because you just know the next one will be better. While you may be busy, you aren’t moving forward. And since time is not standing still for you, you’re really falling way behind.

The trick is to start seeing seeing more things as “worms”. Start seeing them for what they are: distractions and destroyers of your dreams. Sounds easy, but how?!

It’s really easy, actually. You must simply decide exactly what you want before “seeing the menu”!

If you want to make money online, you must first determine what your skills and passions are. From there, you can come up with a plan, and instantly know the “worms” from the “chocolate”. You’ll know which opportunities are in line with your desires, and which will just bog you down.

That’s why setting goals and the law of attraction are so vital to success. Having a clear direction allows you to easily take the shortest path. You’ll also start to see more “worms” on the menu! By now you should see why having worms on the menu is a good thing, and the more the better.

More than half of the complementary “Wrong Action Kills, Right Action Manifests” report is devoted to helping you clarify your goals. It doesn’t matter if you are interested in business, making money, or personal growth, knowing precisely where you want to go will exponentially speed up your progress.

Here are a few tricks that you can use to start seeing more “worms” in your life…

• Decide what you want to eat before you enter a restaurant.
• Make a list before going to the store, and stick to it.
• Keep a prioritized “to do” list, and update it each night before bed.
• Create a “dream board” with your dreams and desires and keep it in a place you see it often.
• Have a written list of tasks you want to accomplish on the computer before sitting down at it. Then follow the list (checking email every minute is probably NOT on your list).
• … I could keep going, but it’s your turn… leave a comment with your own suggestions or ideas!

For a sales and marketing take on “worms”, head over to Ryan M. Healy’s exceptional Business Growth Blog where he has a post titled Improve Sales by Taking Away Their Freedom.

Got a bunch of “worms” on you shelf collecting dust? Clean ‘em up. There’s a good quick post at Internet Business Opportunities called “It’s time to let them go…”

Now, don’t you see how great it is to have lots of “worms” on your menu?

I do.

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