Ok. If you’ve read any of my previous posts, you know I like to take every day situations, and think about the effects they are having on my business and personal success. You wouldn’t believe the long list of interesting and useful things I have to talk about.
Last night I played volleyball in a local league. It’s been many months since I’ve played, and to say I was rusty would be a serious understatement. I used to be a pretty top-notch player, especially for someone who had nothing but “on the job” training (I played in pick up games, and worked my way up to better and better teams–throughout my 20’s in the bay area).
Today I’m sore, and stiff–in a good way, since I need the exercise, but that’s not why I’m writing.
I noticed something that I’ve noticed before, but never really equated it to anything important.
In reality, it could be one of the most important lessons I could learn, as long as I recognize it, and make the necessary course corrections in my life. It also may also be familiar to you.
So… Here’s the situation.. I’m rusty and not playing as well as I used to… I know this, and am beyond frustrated with myself. Every time I do the slightest thing wrong, my self-talk puts me in my place. I shoulda been faster. My timing should have been better. I should have “dug” that “spike” or “dink”.
I was focusing on the things I did wrong, instead of the things I did right. This is a sure-fire way to continue to struggle in life, love, business, etc..
Basically, the “Law of Attraction” states that you will get what you focus your attention (and take action) on. Focus on your failures, and you’ll get more failure, focus on your success, and you’ll get more of that too. I did the worst thing possible, and focussed on my “failures”. It was automatic, and emotional–the worst possible combination!
Here’s the funny thing. I played as well or better than most of the other players, and whenever I was congratulated on a good play (yes, there were quite a few of those as well), I shrugged it off. Can you believe it? I couldn’t take a compliment on my success! I also didn’t acknowledge my own strong plays myself–which is something that I’m sure is holding me back in other areas.
The term “six-pack” in volleyball slang means to be hint in the face by an opponent’s “spike”. This is a ball that is hit so hard and fast that it hits you before you can defend yourself. I see focusing on failure instead of success as and failure “six-pack”. It hits us in the face. Then does so again and again.
Or does it?
Maybe you’re like me, and just keeping the failures in your mind, and don’t focus on the “digs” (volleyball slang for being able to pass a “spiked” ball). We probably have many such successes, which are not celebrated nearly as much as the failures.
What do you think would have become of Einstein, Edison, Bandler and many other great thinkers if they focused on their failures instead of their successes? Do you think they’d have made the breakthroughs the they did if they focused on what didn’t work?
How about in business? Do you think Terry Dean, Bill Gates, Jimmie D Brown, and many others focused on what didn’t work? NO! They worked at things until they found formulas that worked for them. They focused on what worked, and moved from there. They didn’t (and don’t) dwell on whatr didn’t.
This shift in thinking is probably responsible for more successes and failures than anything else.
In fact, it brings up one of the most valuable articles of Terry’s I’ve read:
If you and I do nothing but read that post, and start to recognize, and then change our self defeating behavior, I have no doubt at all that the success we desire will find us.
Please share any ideas you have in regards to “digging” the spikes that life and business throw you, and avoiding getting “six-packed”!