Internet Business and Personal Success

In my relatively recent article “Have you been six-packed by your thinking” I talked about how your self talk could be hurting your chances of success–and even attract more of what you don’t want.

It seems simple. It seems obvious. We might say “yeah, that’s true”, but unless we start actually experimenting with, and changing things that aren’t working, we’ll keep getting the results we have programmed ourselves for.

So, it’s been a couple of weeks since the volleyball realization that my self-comments may be keeping me from playing better. What happens when I purposely change those thought patterns?

This past weekend, I played volleyball for the first time since that post (3 weeks). Knowing that my self talk is probably a habit worth changing, I caught myself every time I was about to make a critical remark about my play (and boy, I could’ve made a few comments). Instead, I chose to move on, and tell myself that I will do better next time, and that I’d learn something about this specific experience.

Sure as ____ (well, you know)… The next time, I *did* play better. I passed, hit, or served better. I improved 1000% over that previous dud of a play. Better yet, I acknowledged it, and congratulated myself on how I’d improved. As the games progressed, this became a self fulfilling mechanism where I’d continue to play better and better. Instead of a downward spiral of self defeating talk, I’d progressed upward in a self promoting whirlwind.

It was most obvious.

It was clear in how I played, how I felt about my play, and the outcome.

My positive encouragement and thoughts attracted positive results. I have no doubt that the outcome of these games would have been different if I’d continued my negative attention.

How does this relate to success in other areas? Well, first you must identify things that bring up your own negative self talk. They could be anything. It’s easiest to pick obvious areas so that you can better observe your progress, like my volleyball example. Later, you can move to more ingrained and meaningful situations such product creation, blog posting, etc… Choosing something simple first will allow you to observe the dramatic change that will occur, and really “get” the results. This will prime you for the bigger and more important projects at hand.

What methods will you use to change your self talk? Please share!

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It’s been a while since I posted. Not that I’ve run out of ideas… More that I’ve been distracted…

No, not by the earthquakes that have been rattling Reno lately (and another one just this moment in fact), but by two things… My many projects outside of this “internet thing”, and my HABITS. More than anything, it’s the habits that are probably slowing me down the most. We all have them. They exist whether we recognize them or not, and they all play a major part in our success or failure (aka “results”).

The hardest part is recognizing the habits that are affecting our current situation.

As an exercise, I’ve decided to do whatever I can to recognize the habits that affect my own life, no matter how small or large, good or bad. For those I see as “bad” habits, I will make an effort to change them… Noting my reactions, resistance, and success.

There will be many! If you follow along, you’ll soon understand.

Here’s a really easy one I’ve recently focussed on. I say “easy” in that it was easy to identify and observe, but not necessarily easy to do something about…

Ready… Here it is… “bad drivers”

Ask my wife. I don’t really like to be around those who don’t fit my idea of “good drivers”. I’ll cuss, moan, whine about how they should never have been allowed a license to drive. How they are causing problems for everyone else. That the cell phone stuck to their ear while the merge onto a freeway at 35MPH is going to cause a wreck (it will and does).

So, my habit is that I get all worked up over what someone else is doing.

I don’t know which is more boneheaded, the person driving with a cellphone in one hand, and doing makeup with the other… or me, wasting time and energy carrying on about them. But still, it’s something I’ve let become a habit. I see a “bad” driver, and I can barely control myself. Instinct takes over and I let ‘em have it (not that they care) — <insert explicative here>.

The experiment begins. I’ve started to try different things to change my habit. Not that it’s such an important issue to change, but rather that it’s something I can clearly see, and observe. It’s also something that is frequent enough every time I get into my car, that feedback is almost immediate.

What I’ve found it that I still cuss and moan about the other drivers. But I do it slightly less frequently, and each time I do, I’m reminded of this experiment. Success. I’ve observed the habit!

Once observed, I run through a list of things in my head about what this behavior means to me, and why I’m doing it. Truthfully,the reason is probably more about me being “right” than anything else. I’d love to say it’s because the roads would be safer, or we’d all make it to where we want to go quicker, but that would be a lie. I simply despise their ineptitude as much as I despise my own. I want everyone to be competent 24-7.

When I go through the list of reasons “why” I act the way I do, they come up short.

• I probably won’t make it to where I’m going more than a few seconds earlier.
• The rest of us observant drivers will likely deal with the speed and erratic driving of the others.
• No amount of me cussing, horn blowing, or otherwise getting working up over them will ever change the way they drive. Sad, but true. They will NEVER change because of my actions. Never, ever.
• To feel righteous, or better than them. I may feel this way, but my stress level raises 1000 fold in the process. Not exactly productive!

Cutting to the chase… The ONLY ONE I have power over is MYSELF. It really doesn’t matter what they do. It only matter what I feel and do. Nothing can change this, so why would I make any choice but to do something supportive and constructive?

Because of Habit! And not a good habit.

Today, I made a solid observation of every time I got upset about something another driver did. I then went through my list of reasons, and observed. I did not change. But the fact that I observed what I was doing, and realized the real reasons for it is a huge step in the right direction. In the coming days, and weeks I will keep reminding myself of what I’m doing, and why the only thing that matter is my own results.

I know that in time I will become more focused on my own reactions, progress and success, than I am with others perceived problems and “stupidity”.

The challenge is to find the import habits that are holding us back and then doing something about them if they are holding us back in some way. Some common biggies are:

• Perfectionism — probably my biggest hang up (though there are runners up)
• Fear of success
• Fear of failure
• Shyness/fear of putting ourselves out there
• Too much tv
• Too much web surfing (”research”)
• …insert your own discoveries here…

If you really want to succeed, you’ll need to observe your habits and make as many changes as are necessary to achieve your goal. It may not be easy, so I suggest you follow my lead, and “discover” something that is easy to observe at first. The tools you learn from truly thinking about these obvious habits can be applied just as readily to the more important ones. You just (usually) have to know why you’re doing what you’re doing first. Then you can progress.

That’s how it works for me anyway.

So… Can you identify a self-defeating habits. Preferably one that can be observed frequently. An easy one, or hard one. If you can identify and observe it frequently, choose that one. Then each time it comes up, think about what your response to it means to you. Think about why your choose to do that. Make a note of what you could change about your action, and how that could effect your feelings, results or behavior.

Remember that can only change yourself, not others. They must choose to change themselves, and you must choose to change yourself. You’re a FOOL if you are trying to change other people. Conversely, you are among the most brilliant if you choose to change yourself instead.

Which side would you rather be on?!

Please let everyone know if anything strikes a chord while reading this post. I hope it encourages some ideas big and small.

-Tim

PS. My wife is probably wondering how I’m going to pull this one off. Part 2 will reveal part of the secret. Stay tuned (and please bug me if my habits don’t produce fast enough

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Ok. If you’ve read any of my previous posts, you know I like to take every day situations, and think about the effects they are having on my business and personal success. You wouldn’t believe the long list of interesting and useful things I have to talk about.

Last night I played volleyball in a local league. It’s been many months since I’ve played, and to say I was rusty would be a serious understatement. I used to be a pretty top-notch player, especially for someone who had nothing but “on the job” training (I played in pick up games, and worked my way up to better and better teams–throughout my 20’s in the bay area).

Today I’m sore, and stiff–in a good way, since I need the exercise, but that’s not why I’m writing.

I noticed something that I’ve noticed before, but never really equated it to anything important.

In reality, it could be one of the most important lessons I could learn, as long as I recognize it, and make the necessary course corrections in my life. It also may also be familiar to you.

So… Here’s the situation.. I’m rusty and not playing as well as I used to… I know this, and am beyond frustrated with myself. Every time I do the slightest thing wrong, my self-talk puts me in my place. I shoulda been faster. My timing should have been better. I should have “dug” that “spike” or “dink”.

I was focusing on the things I did wrong, instead of the things I did right. This is a sure-fire way to continue to struggle in life, love, business, etc..

Basically, the “Law of Attraction” states that you will get what you focus your attention (and take action) on. Focus on your failures, and you’ll get more failure, focus on your success, and you’ll get more of that too. I did the worst thing possible, and focussed on my “failures”. It was automatic, and emotional–the worst possible combination!

Here’s the funny thing. I played as well or better than most of the other players, and whenever I was congratulated on a good play (yes, there were quite a few of those as well), I shrugged it off. Can you believe it? I couldn’t take a compliment on my success! I also didn’t acknowledge my own strong plays myself–which is something that I’m sure is holding me back in other areas.

The term “six-pack” in volleyball slang means to be hint in the face by an opponent’s “spike”. This is a ball that is hit so hard and fast that it hits you before you can defend yourself. I see focusing on failure instead of success as and failure “six-pack”. It hits us in the face. Then does so again and again.

Or does it?

Maybe you’re like me, and just keeping the failures in your mind, and don’t focus on the “digs” (volleyball slang for being able to pass a “spiked” ball). We probably have many such successes, which are not celebrated nearly as much as the failures.

What do you think would have become of Einstein, Edison, Bandler and many other great thinkers if they focused on their failures instead of their successes? Do you think they’d have made the breakthroughs the they did if they focused on what didn’t work?

How about in business? Do you think Terry Dean, Bill Gates, Jimmie D Brown, and many others focused on what didn’t work? NO! They worked at things until they found formulas that worked for them. They focused on what worked, and moved from there. They didn’t (and don’t) dwell on whatr didn’t.

This shift in thinking is probably responsible for more successes and failures than anything else.

In fact, it brings up one of the most valuable articles of Terry’s I’ve read:

Why Believing in Yourself Will Change Your Life

If you and I do nothing but read that post, and start to recognize, and then change our self defeating behavior, I have no doubt at all that the success we desire will find us.

Please share any ideas you have in regards to “digging” the spikes that life and business throw you, and avoiding getting “six-packed”!

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There’s a saying in my house… the refrigerator is where food goes to die.

It’s true too. If we eat out, invariably the leftovers go to the fridge. Then a week later we notice the “dead” food and toss is out.  The same holds true if we make a bit too much to eat at home. I’m not sure what our aversion to left-overs is, but I have a feeling the reason behind it is a big problem a lot of us face.

You probably think I’m crazy for bringing up dead food. But I noticed a very similar pattern in many other areas.

For instance, as startup internet business owners, we may go out and buy, read and listen to things just because they’re new. We listen once, then move on to the next “big thing”. Never mind that the information we got a year or two ago is still viable, and could help us move closer to our goals. Furthermore, it could be all we really need to truly turn the corner of online success.

Instead we seek something new, easier, quicker and more “perfect” than the last thing, and we don’t move forward because we’re always in study mode. We put the information on the shelf to die.

Contrast this to any of the current and great copywriters, you’ll see that they not only study the teachings of yesteryear, they still follow the same basic structure that was laid out many years ago. They take what still works, add their own flare, test and tweak it, and then repeat.

Sure, in the case of food, it rots and becomes inedible, so the analogy isn’t ideal… But the same kind of food fresh the next week is still yummy and nourishing. The same basic ingredients are there and it’s as tasty/useful as it was the week prior.

Same for most of the information we collect. In fact is you go back far enough you may find that what’s old is new again. Look at fashion, cars, music… It all comes back and becomes the latest thing. Maybe you can find some hidden gold in the knowledge you already have.

So, what’s on your shelf that you could put to use today?

Do you find yourself caught in a self defeating cycle? If you step back and think about what I’ve said, does anything look different to you now?

In…

• your business?
• your relationships?
• your desires?
• your hobbies?
• your music - ok, I’m listening to one of my favorite bands who have a new album out after 16+ years… Was (not Was), and the album Boo! Music is a great example of this concept…

If not, that’s fine. I’m simply passing on something I became aware of, that’s helped me move forward in projects that otherwise might have had me blogged down in the “need for new”. You’ll see (specifically) what I mean shortly, but in the meantime I suggest raiding the refrigerator for new ideas!
Oh,… and please let me know what you find!

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Another reminder that you can learn something almost anyplace, as long as you’re paying attention.

Tonight while at the grocery store I witnessed a great example of this. A gentleman was at one of those new-fangled self checkout booths, and apparently pressed the button to view things in Spanish. The lady attending to the booths noticed this and made a comment on his selection (he didn’t look like Spanish would be his first language).

He said that he liked to keep in practice, and selected the spanish language option when he had a chance to brush up.

The lady at the checkout was impressed, and so was I.

What a great example of doing something that might slightly stretch your comfort zone for whatever reason. Most of us would press the English button, even if we knew some Spanish at one time. This might make things go a little smoother, but it wouldn’t help us to grow or progress in any way.

There are many things that we tend to do because they’re a habit, and easy…

• Checking email frequently.
• Surfing the web endlessly (uh.. “research”).
• Watching TV.
• Going to the same restaurants, stores and supermarkets.
• Reading the same newspapers, blogs, author’s books.
• Learning too much, doing too little.

It’s been said that you should work on your strengths, instead of your weaknesses (farm those out), but this is different. This is about working on habits that are keeping your thinking locked into patterns that are counterproductive. This is about pushing your boundaries so that you can do new things, and succeed in new ways.

So… Do something different. Do something a little challenging. Take the above list, and expand upon it, then reverse the habit and do the opposite.

This is especially important when you have a project you are “working on”, but it’s not something you’ve done before. You know you need to do it. You know that if you don’t, it’ll be just another in a long line of half-done projects. It’s just out of your comfort zone.

All learning requires you to break out of this comfort zone. It doesn’t have to be difficult, and the easier the better. But it will require stretching your mind, and doing some new things.

Keep thinking!

-Tim

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I’ve been thinking a lot lately about this blog.

My conclusion is that it’s boring. No, it’s not that the information isn’t great, it’s that there’s little or no personal connection. Even though it typically takes a couple of hours to compose a post, it comes off as dry. You don’t know me, or the reasons behind my posts. This is BAD.

It’s bad because when I take a survey of blogs I visit and look forward to, they exude the personality of the owner. Sometimes it’s through technical details, sometimes through stories and writing style. Usually there are comments left for every post, and they can go both positive or negative–but always with respect.

I have a lot of things to talk about. Some could truly set you up for success. It might be quick. It might be slow. But if the ideas are presented in a way that makes an impact, they could be the start of dramatic change in your life. If they aren’t presented in an interesting or personal way, they will likely fail spectacularly.

If you have a blog, or are “about to start one” (JUST DO IT ALREADY!), do yourself a favor and look at the blogs you frequent. Ask yourself why you visit them, and what you could do to gain the same following. Is it the personal stories? The controversy? The technical details presented in every post?

Whatever it is that makes these blogs special to you also make them special to their readers. If you don’t have this connection to your audience, you will never gain a following, and you will suffer with a few regular readers (and your mom). I love my mom, but she’s not exactly my target reader, and probably isn’t yours.

The posts which follow WILL do a lot to bring myself to the table. Some ideas I have, which you might copy, include:

• Tell personal stories, and give detailed examples.
• Stir up controversy when something is going on which you don’t belive it–or have a differnt perspective of.
• Stop filtering and editing posts - the biggest obstacle to letting yourself show through is rewriting, and over thinking posts. Stop it!
• Limit the time you take in posting. This helps you to stop over thinking a post.
• Break away from your primary topic from time to time so that people see a more fully rounded person. Talk about your trips, pets, and family. If you have a running “bit” about some personal element in your life that people can follow, it’ll do wonders for your readership.
• Stop taking things seriously. Spontaneous is usually 1000 times more interesting than calculated.
• Reframe “unrelated” information to fit your niche, and personal style. Visit blogs on music, technology and magic, if that’s what interests you.  See how things might related to your blog.
• Learn from everything, good and bad.  Outside the box.  I’ve got over a page of notes on life lessons I’ve learned from our cat! —–I’ll share that in the future as well.

There are many others, but the point is, without the personality of the writer, who gives a sh*t!

Please let me know what you find most interesting in the blogs you visit. It will help both of us in bringing you the best possible content.

Comment below———Please.

Thanks!

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On Friday night at the Matchbox Twenty, Alanis Morissette concert here in Reno, I was reminded that you can network virtually anyplace.

At this show, I met a successful online entrepreneur from the Sacramento area. Sacramento is about 2 hours from Reno, and many people come here for shows, skiing and gambling, so it was no surprise that he’d come out for the weekend to play.

What did surprise me was his line of “work”. He sells a very specialized line of niche products online and by phone. From what I understand, he dominates this particular niche and has at least two people employed to handle the phones. Knowing that someone is doing well in such a seemingly tiny market was truly eye opening.

I spoke with him about his background online, and he gave me some great ideas to use on one of my non-Internet Business projects. We swapped email, and will keep in touch.

Since Reno is a tourist destination, it’s very common for people who are out for the evening to ask each other where you are from. But you can do this anyplace. You don’t have to wait for an Internet Marketing PitchfestSeminar to find people to connect with. Some of the best ideas come from people outside of the market you are in, since they can see things from a new angle. It’s a great win-win situation!

There are a virtually unlimited number of places, online and off, where you can network with people. All you have to do is put yourself out there and strike up a conversation. Here are just a few ideas to get you started…

• Concerts, shows, movies
• Blogs, forums (private ones tend to be much better), membership sites
• Restaurants, bars, cafeterias
• Social and service clubs (Rotary, Toastmasters, S.C.O.R.E., etc)
• Online social networking sites like StumbleUpon, Squidoo, and many others
• Stores. Especially ones you visit frequently
• Amusement parks, Golf courses, Bowling Alleys, The Zoo…
• Classes and schools/colleges
• —your turn—

It may not always be a good idea to specifically go out to and look for people to talk to, but if the situation arises, why not see what happens? You could end up with a new venture partner, an idea, or a good laugh. Hopefully you’ll be able to contribute to them as well.

If you feel stuck starting a conversation, head to Amazon.com and search for “conversation” and see where it takes you. There are hundreds of books, on starting conversations, meeting people, and networking. The more you do it, the easier it will be. I’ve talked to interesting and helpful people in all sorts of places, tourist areas or not.

You can start by introducing yourself here. Leave a comment to this post, and be sure to link to your blog or website! Commenting and participating on other peoples blog sites is a great way to meet people online. It also will have a dramatic effect on traffic to your site.

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Set specific, measurable expectations before proceeding.

It’s a simple concept. It’s easy to follow. So, why this post?

Because it’s exceedingly rare in practice. Oh… and it could mean the difference between success and failure.

People tend to follow the path of least resistance. Me included. Yet, with some quick adjustments, we could be making progress in leaps and bounds, instead of spits and sputters. All you have to do is clarify your expectations before doing something.

This is basically the Law of Attraction on a smaller, but exceptionally important scale.

An example of what I’m talking about…

You just got a great course on Internet Marketing. It has all the promise of taking you away from your day job and allowing you to earn a living from your home office. The first thing you do is open it up, and read interesting sections as you find them. You’re motivated and feeling good. Unfortunately, you do the same thing the next day. Maybe feeling a little less motivated and frustrated that your “study” hasn’t produced any results. This continues, with a few false starts at using the information, until you finally feel that you were ripped off, and cheated by the author.

Truth is, the product may actually contain all the promises that were made on the sales letter. It may truly unlock the “secrets” to wealth and happiness for you and your family. The problem is that you wanted a magic bullet and didn’t have a plan for success.

If your expectations for the course are something like “Learn how to make a fortune online”, then you are sure to fail. It’s like hailing a cab and asking the driver to take you home. Unless you tell him exactly where you live, you won’t get there. Vague goals and directions just don’t work.

On the other hand, if you set precise goals before you first begin the course, you may just hit pay dirt. What if you set your intention to make your first $100 online within a month using the information in the course. Then for each lesson you take notes, and act on the material presented. You set up your blog, website or email autoresponder. If you have questions, you find examples of the techniques in action (from the author perhaps), and dig for the answers. Trust me, you’ll learn a lot more from taking action on something than just reading about it.

After a week you’ll have made considerable progress, and not only feel motivated, but will have actually accomplished much more than ever before. If you can get to $100, you can get to $200, and as you reach each target it will become easier.

Making a bunch of mini expectations/goals has an exponential effect on your overall progress.

You can visualize this in many ways. For instance, take a staircase. If you want to get to the second floor, you’ll need to use it. One or two steps at a time. You couldn’t jump straight to any other floor above you. Your expectation is to move gradually up the stairs until you arrive at the top. If you try to jump in one bound and just “arrive”, you won’t make it.

One more very important point. The order in which you do something is as important as the setting your goals, and direction. You simply can’t start with the chapter on building traffic to your site if you haven’t even built your site yet. You must do things in an order that has a chance of working. Can you climb the stairs by starting on the 10th step, then the 3rd and then the 15th? No, you start at the bottom, and work your way up in an order that makes sense.

Where else does this work? Everywhere!

• When surfing the net (uhhh… I mean when doing “research” on the net–you know…)
• When attending a seminar (don’t let it be mindless entertainment)
• When dating (don’t skip ahead to the marriage proposal!)
• When taking a trip (don’t get lost)
• When performing a function at work
• When Training your pet
• When learning a musical instrument
• <your goals here>

Terry Dean’s post on 8 Steps to Create Your Internet Business is an excellent example of this concept, and was the largely responsible for the idea behind this post.

Now, how will you put this to use? What mind games can you come up with to help? Please share in the comments below.

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I’ve been wondering about this for a while, and finally decided to try a few things.

If you have a web site, and are working at ranking well for a certain keyword, you may not know what page you really show up in Google for one simple reason:

You’re logged into your google account when you make the search (or have Google Toolbar)

Yep, that’s it. Now, I’ve finally verified it in a non-internet marketing related niche. Let me explain so you can try some things on your own.

As far as I know, this only applies to Google, and for those with a Google tool bar or a Google account that they are usually logged in to. Who knows, it might apply to other search engines are well.

I was looking for where this niche site ranked on a specific 2 word phrase. One day the results would show #15 (second page), the next it would be #9 or 10 (first page). Since no changes were made on to the site, and it seemed to bounce around at will, I initially chalked it up to changes the competitors were making to their sites, or a Google change.

Still, after a few weeks, it got me wondering just why this was happening.

I seemed to remember that Google wants to “help” the searcher by using past searches and site visits as an aid in coming up with the best possible results for all new searches. If you have an Amazon account, you’ll be very familiar with all of the little tricks that they use to give you recommendations based on past searches, and purchases there. This is the same thing, but done by your search engine of choice!

So, I did the search in my normal Firefox browser. It came up at #9. I was logged into my Google account for this search.

Next I went to Internet Explorer, which I only use as a cookie and settings-free browser to perform certain tests on. I entered the same search, and the target site showed as #15 (page 2). I was not logged in to any account, and cookies were cleared.

I went back to my Firefox browser, and logged out of my Google account. Entered the search phrase, and came back as #15, just like in Internet Explorer.

Experiment over for now.

My guess is that since I’d frequently visited the site(s) I was trying to rank, it moved the results up when I searched on a phrase that the site was included in–much like Amazon will start finding reasons to show new/different results as you browse or shop.

Lesson learned:

You may not know exactly what page your site will show up for any given keyword, for any given individual. Their results may be based on past searches, just like yours are when logged into your Google account.

What can you do about it? I suspect: not much, other than to keep generating good, related content to inch ever higher in the overall rankings.

Just remember not to spout off about your page one ranking without at least checking whether you get the same results after logging off of your account. Even then, you don’t know if they’re logged in and getting entirely different results as well.

Thoughts on this? Comment below…

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I’ve been doing a lot of things in the background, and not writing here as much as I should. My list of topics, and thoughts is growing exponentially–so stay tuned.

In the meantime (and thereafter), you owe it to yourself to visit Mohamed’s Internet Business Opportunities blog (http://www.oibo.org/). I’ve been watching his site from the beginning, and he really is getting his stuff together.

Why visit?

First, he’s way a way more prolific writer than I am. Probably because I think a bit too much while making a post, so it takes me a long time. If he takes even half as long as I usually do, then he’s really putting a lot of time and thought into his posts–which I wouldn’t doubt.

Second, and more important, he writes interesting articles. Not, just interesting, but *useful* posts on all things related to online business success. Here are just a few recent topics:

• Using images in your blog posts (I swear he was reading my mind on this one)
• Three things you must do before submitting n article to directories
• Creative Commons License
• Could your business survive a nuclear attack
• Free traffic generation
• Outsourcing
• Free business presentation tools
• Staying organized
• Many MANY more…

…and the topics above are only a partial list from the past 10 days! Even if you think you don’t have the time to visit, just make time, even if it’s to stop by once a week.

—end of blatant-but-deserved “plug”—

-Tim

P.S. and F.Y.I. Do you ever attempt to get to this (timgary.com) blog, and get a blank screen? Me too, and it’s very frustrating. Why does it happen? A combination of Wordpress 2.3, the theme I’m currently using, and the web host’s use of server performance script xcache. Thus far, I’ve not been able to fix it, other than by manually reseting xcache when it happens. If a solution isn’t found soon, I’ll be switching to a new Wordpress theme. So, until them, just check back in a few hours. I’ll likely have reset things.

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